Tuesday, September 27, 2011

"Ugly Blue" kinda day

Okay, I have to admit that I've really been blue today, and I don't mean that Annie Sloan "pretty blue" either.  I mean a real feel sorry for me, down in the dumps, just want to cry kinda day.  A real "ugly blue" kinda day. I'm sure those of you who know me are wondering what the heck is going on 'cause I don't normally "allow" myself to feel this way.  I have no reason to feel sorry for myself, I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful, caring son who is a tremendous blessing to me, a beautiful home (and I'm not talking about what it looks like, although I do think its pretty), I'm healthy and so is my family and those close to me.  I know I have several people who love and care about me, so what reason do I have to be "ugly blue?"  Well, I did it to myself.  First, I got my feelings hurt by something somone else did.  Then, I made the huge mistake of comparing myself to others.  While taking a little break I was scoping out FB on my Flower Child Design page and saw a new page that looked interesting.  So I hop on over there and check out all this cool furniture.  Luvin' what I see so I hop on over to her blog.  That's when I did it.  I noticed that she's a new blogger like me, but unlike me she has like a gazillion followers.  I have two very loyal followers.  She's been featured on like a trillion blogs.  I've only been featured on one.  She has like thousands of fans on FB, I can't keep the ones I have much less build it up.  So after I get myself in a good snit I make myself get up and get back to work.  The whole time I'm working I'm questioning why I'm wasting my time.  No one (no offense Lucy and Marni) is following my blog and no one's really buying my stuff.  They order it then they don't come pick it up.  As I sit out in my "work shop" with an abundance of very pretty ribbon (that normally makes me smile) that I have spent a small fortune on, I question God.  Why did He give me this gift if I'm not supposed to use it!  I've put my trust and my faith in Him and He is letting me down! Oh yeah, I'm in a real snit alright.  I have no friends or at least none that invite me to do anything, no one likes my stuff, no one follows my blog, I can't get my fan base up on my FB page, no one ever comments on my FB page, I can't get other business page owners to share or like my page even though I share and like theirs. I'm working like 14 hour days everyday, I'm covered in paint, sweat and sawdust and I smell to high heaven.  Yep, God is really letting me down.  Yep, a VERY "ugly blue" kinda day.  And then my phone beeped to let me know someone had tagged me in photo on FB.  When I looked this is what I saw:



Remember that trunk I painted for Baby Maddox?  Well his mamma used it in his first official portrait.  Wow!!  how special is that?  something I created was used for something so special.  Guess that teaches me to question God. 


So I'm gonna put on my big girl panties, put a smile on my face and get back to work!  Life is too short and too precious to wallow in self-pity.  Each day is a blessing from God and I don't intend to waste any more of this one with a frown on my face.  So will anyone read this besides my two loyal followers?  Who knows, doesn't matter 'cause I'm over feeling sorry for myself. If I never get more than two followers on this blog, well that's okay with me as long as they are happy with what they see.  Same goes for my FB page.  As long as the people who are following it are happy with what they see then that's all that matters to me.  My goal is to put a smile on your face.  When I quit my job to pursue this I wasn't nervous at all because I had faith!  Whenever I question that decision God usually puts me back on track, I just have to listen.  Sometimes He really has to yank my chain, but He's always there for me, and this knowledge makes me:


Peace-N-Luv!
Debbie
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9 comments:

  1. Awwww so glad his picture perked you up a bit. Everyone loves the trunk. I posted a link to your blog on fb because everyone has commented on the trunk. Smile :)

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  2. Do you think I am not following your blog because I am not commenting? Come on Debbie ... I'm here watching you and always only a call away! ~ Lawanda

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  3. thanks guys! y'all ROCK!! I'm feeling much better, shouldn't have let myself get low. Alece, I meant it when I said that I needed that message right then at that very moment! And Lawanda, I know you're always there! Luv ya!

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  4. Awwe... what a good read. I think ive told u before , what a gift you have for writing along with your (too many to list) other tallents . Funny , how many years has it been since we saw each other in person ? I cant remember, but i can hear your voice as i read your stories......which must be a sign of a tallented writer. And btw, we all have those "blue" days. Probably most of us saw ourselves, at times , just like you so accurately wrote. Ill be willing to bet that one of these days , i will be reading a book by debbie holobaugh.

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    1. You are too kind, thank you for your sweet words! A book??? hmmm... that is something to ponder. Yes, we all have "ugly blue" days, although I try not allow myself to have them too often, but sometimes I think you need them to appreciate "pretty pink" days!

      Peace,
      Debbie

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  5. Boy I know what you mean here, lady. My friend "Shabby Cowgirl" reminds me that "I am going to make beautiful things, even if no one cares."
    There are a lot of bloggers out there, there are a lot of furniture painters out there. Sometimes all that matters is that we touch the heart of one person with a post like this, to let them know that they are not alone, that we all have feelings of despair. I am guilty of it myself, but try to remember, comparison is the thief of joy - and that we can't compare our beginning to someone else's middle. Take care, Flower Child! xo

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    1. I most definitely learned a few lessons on that "ugly blue" day. Yes, there are a lot of bloggers out there and a lot of furniture painters. Who knows why some blogs attract a lot of followers and others don't. Mine is obviously one of those that doesn't - lo1! But that day when I really thought about it I realized that none of it really mattered as long as whoever asked me to do something was happy and that I was happy doing it! Do I have a lot of followers? No, but I constantly have people tell me they enjoy reading my blog and that's enough for me. I found it ironic when I was reading your post when you discussed "comparing" that the day I wrote this post the "new blogger like me" that I compared myself to was you - lol! You are so right, comparison steals the joy, instead I try to rejoice in others good fortune and be happy for them. I am truly blessed, I have what I need, I get to use my passion to help support my family, my heart is happy and THAT is all that matters!

      Peace,
      Debbie

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